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Jars of Joy - set of two

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This set of two contains the incredible Polished Boogers and Pickled Pimples.

Polished Boogers: Carefully hand-picked bogies that have been polished to perfection using the ancient technique of rolling them vigorously under the sweaty armpit of an hirsute man. Once polished to a light sheen they are then left to harden naturally in a musty hot-water cupboard. After a few months they are then gathered up and placed in jars. Now this rare delicacy is being offered to you. Don't snooze or you will lose - order yours today!

Pickled Pimples: Who can resist the unique taste of pickled pimples? These pustules of joy have been lovingly scraped off the bathroom mirrors of teenagers throughout the country and placed in tepid vinegar to mature. The finest of these bodily ejections are then hand-rolled into a nugget with the help of earwax and belly-button fluff. The result is a bite-sized delicacy with a crusty exterior and jelly like centre.

Other flavours available in different set quantities (see Fat-Spatula store): Smurf Pellets, Preserved Pukeko Pancreas, Hedgehog Testicles, Sun-Dried Blood Clots, Intestinal Worms, and Genital Warts.
If you would like a different combination of flavours just message me.

Note: They may contain traces of jellybeans.

Payment options

  • Bank deposit
  • PayPal
  • Credit card via PayPal

Shipping details

  • Ships from Haumoana, New Zealand.
  • $7.50 Tracked within NZ
    ($3.00 with another item)
  • $12.50 Courier within NZ
    ($3.00 with another item)
  • Pick up by arrangement.
  • If there is no suitable option for you listed above, to enquire about alternative payment or shipping options.

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