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Polished Boogers

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You know what you need? You need a jar of polished boogers!

This jar contains carefully hand-picked bogies that have been polished to perfection using the ancient technique of rolling them vigorously under the sweaty armpit of an hirsute man. Once polished to a light sheen they are then left to harden naturally in a musty hot-water cupboard. After a few months they are then gathered up and placed in jars. Now this rare delicacy is being offered to you. Don't snooze or you will lose - order yours today!

Maybe Polished Boogers aren't your thing. No worries, I also happen to have Hedgehog Testicles on offer. You may think gathering hedgehog testes would be easy but I can assure you it is not. It takes a village to raise a child (so they say) and it also takes a village to teach that child all the skills of a Hedgehog Wrangler. Once the village-raised-child has grown to become a young man or woman and passed the grueling examinations, they are then skilled enough to perform the delicate operation of testicle harvesting. This is a gruesome affair with much swearing and gnashing of teeth and crying. All done so that you can enjoy a wee nibble of nuts after dinner.

But wait there is more. The now highly trained Hedgehog Wranglers have some spare time in the evenings and weekends and often spend it removing the pancreas from Pukeko's. They do this simply for a laugh and a chance to show off in front of members of the opposite sex. It so happens that Preserved Pukeko Pancreas tastes delicious and also a bit like licorice, so I have put some in a jar just for you.

I am selling these rare treats in a set of three. One jar of each or in any combination you like.

Note: They may contain traces of jellybeans.

Payment options

  • Bank deposit
  • PayPal
  • Credit card via PayPal

Shipping details

  • Ships from Haumoana, New Zealand.
  • $7.50 Courier within NZ
    ($3.00 with another item)
  • $12.50 Courier within NZ
    ($3.00 with another item)
  • Pick up by arrangement.
  • If there is no suitable option for you listed above, to enquire about alternative payment or shipping options.

Listing #78475
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